Hi there. My name is Fat Whore. I'm sure you've heard of me. I like to befriend hot girls so I can motivate myself to be more like them. But I live in a fantasy world where I am completely happy being fat and a whore. You know guys like more cushion for the pushin'. That's why I'm so jolly!! I like to dress like a skinny girl. You know, tight pants, shirt revealing my midriff, thong showing when I sit down. Oh and showing cleavage is a must!! You have to keep the boys wanting more!!!

I often write about how much I love women and that certain whores are actually acceptable, depending on a man's tolerance level. The way I see things is we two have types of beings: Whores and Players. Both words lend themselves to multiple definitions and any attempt to narrow the term(s) to fit a person's prejudices/agenda will ultimately only lead to Palin-esque confusion and failure. To keep it simple, we can just call women whores and men players. Obviously, both men and women can crossover, but that is done on a case by case basis.

Which brings me to my point in this post. Today, we induct our first female members into the Player's Club. Before I get to that, let's discuss why I chose these ladies. There's obviously criteria to satisfy prior to acceptance. Not every whore qualifies. It takes a special kind of whore. And these are whores who have embraced life and live it to the fullest. More importantly, they are much more than the whores we're used to seeing among the unwashed masses. These are women in their own right and are proud of it. With these women, we as men are on notice that they are independent, flashy, and the motherfucking, self-proclaimed, shit. They read this blog, enjoy it, and as far as I know, understand it. They are even regular readers of my blog, encouraging me to bring whoreism to light.

They aren't celebrities, but real life whores. They make no apologies for globetrotting and enjoying sex. They have serious goals in mind yet they live the fast life. They have no qualms about getting silly drunk in public. They have boytoys and serious relationships. And I am almost certain they will fuck your brains out if you are lucky enough. They remind me of some of my female friends. Players with vaginas.

Who are these supremely filthy whores who dare blur the lines between whore and player? They call themselves Lilo, The Alleged Ringleader, and ShamWOW. And they author The Mean Girls Guide to Glory. With topics such as "Marking your Territory," these ladies demonstrate that they are much more than mere whores. And they're fucking hilarious.

Unfortunately, ladies, you are still women, and therefore, still susceptible to being a slave to your emotions. Hopefully, you'll keep it in check and continue being the acceptable whores that we as men covet.

Welcome to the motherfucking Player's Club ladies.

Many posts here on WWAW deal with, well, why women are whores and how to spot one in your house. I think it's about time we discuss what happens after you find a whore in your house. It's surprising, but many guys fall into a sort of depression after being boob-slapped by their girlfriend. They refuse to go out. They sit at home and marinate in their self-pity. Day after day, night after night, crying over some lost whore. Sad, but true, a cheating girlfriend/spouse is a monstrous blow to the male ego, which says a lot for women and the power they hold.

So let's say one of your buddies calls you and informs you that your girl is with another guy at the bar. Or worse yet, making out with some guy in the parking lot. Or even worse, you find a used magnum under your bed and you can't fit a magnum? Do you find that fucker and slap that guy senseless? Absolutely not.

Never, never, ever, blame the guy. Unless he's being a douchebag and taunting you. Instead of blaming him, and instead of getting all riled up over her, the best thing to do a take a deep breath, get the phone out, and call a girl or two. In other words, go get a blowjob. Ask nicely enough, and any girl will gladly fellate you.

Obviously, this is easier said than done for most men. But the point here is that a man should not dwell on the cheating ways of his former girl. He should not replay what went wrong and why she fucked that guy in his truck doggystyle. Asking questions like that is like trying to find the meaning of life. You''ll only end up more confused and, if you're not careful, you'll end up detached from reality on some suicide mission in a desert.

Reality is what you need. You need to see that she is not the only girl in the world. In fact, there's fucking hundreds of millions of them. And you'll find another one in a heartbeat. Trust me on this one. Scroll down to the end of this post. I bet she'll make you forget a whore.

So if you can't get a blowjob right away, then figure out what you can do and do it. If it means hitting the gym, then go push some goddamn weights. If it means working until your bank account gives birth to a Ferrari, then so be it. The point is, get busy and forget her. Whatever it is that you decided to do, do it. Then go out with your guys and have a good time. Go to strip clubs, go to bars, go to fucking rodeos. Just go and do shit. The more you go out and have fun, the more likely it is that a whore or two will take notice. And then, boo yow! 3 am and you're playing hide and seek the cock with the whore.

The moral of the story here is that a man should never dwell on a whore. You can't control what a whore will do at any given point. If she was less than forthcoming with you, it's not your fault. As much as you think you love her, trust me, there's another one out there that will do things to you that your daddy can only dream of. You just need to go find her. And her friends. In time, you'll never think of that old whore again.

Women are fucking beautiful and they can be found everywhere. And while you sit and moan over that one "special" whore, men everywhere are enjoying the spoils of their hunt. It's amazing how new women give you temporary memory loss. The bottom line is: either you get in the game or be a waterboy. Your choice.

Remember, the gamechangers get the ladies.

Women are whores. But men can be serious fucking douchebags.

Gentlemen, there's definitely warning signs you should be on the lookout for. If there's one thing I've preached here repeatedly, it's that we as men can never fully trust a woman. Ask a woman if she fully trusts you. She'll lie and say yes. But that fucking 2:00 am phone call while you're sleeping sure says otherwise.

I've previously posted some surefire signs that you've got a whore on your hands. But obviously, there's no end to the whore treachery. So we here at WWAW, always on the lookout, present some more telltale whore signs. Look for a few signs, not just one.

You should always be weary of a whore's change in sexual behavior. If she hasn't put out in two months, someone else may be laying the pipe for you. Conversely, if she's being less than enthused in bed when previously she was jumping off the walls on to your cock, you have a dead fish whore. But the clever whores, they change their bedtime habits to become more aggressive in bed. And while it's great for your satisfaction, where do you think she picked up the new tricks? University of Whore.

Was your girl an introvert? Did she rarely go out? Did you know every girl she befriended in her whore life? But wait, who's that new girl with the shiny hooker boots? Making new friends doesn't necessarily mean your girl has social game. It can also mean your girl has blowjob game. You know how it works. Whores go out in packs. And if your girl is being less than open with you, she's defenitely open for business.

Remember the last time you told that wench that you and your fellow cockswingers were going to the strip club? Remember how she slapped you silly? If she all of a sudden let's you do whatever the fuck you want, you better wake up. Remember, while the boyfriend is away, the whore will play. The more time you spend out of her sight, the more time she has to make it a whore night. So be very careful if she's encouraging your debauchery.

If you've been drnking the same beer since you were an infant, and today, she called you a pussy for drinking it, she's got cock on her mind. And it ain't yours. If she's starting to nag and bitch at your ass for everything you do, she's doing some dirty things behind your back. Whores take out their guilt on their men. It's like some psycho reverse psychology crap. After licking the landscaper's balls, she feels better once she emasculates you. It doesn't make sense, except to that whore. It's like justifying her whore ways by finding shit you do wrong. And I say fuck that. Send that whore packing back to whoretown.


Remember Gentlemen, don't be paranoid. Be vigilant. Never blame the other guy(s). Drop the whore and go find yourself another one. Or three.